FTalking alone is a completely normal thing that everyone does on a daily basis and it applies not only to the times when we have conversations, but also when you are just inside the head. Psychologist Melinda Foote explained to CNN that the way you talk to yourself can make a huge difference to your development as a person and your mental health.
Another expert – Ethan Cross, psychologist and professor at the University of Michigan, USA – compares our “inner voice” with the Swiss army knife – a tool with multiple functions. The problem is that there is no user guide to know how to use it, and therefore, these monologues that we do just for ourselves can become very harsh and self-critical, and ultimately damage our mental health.
“Talk to yourself” is critical to the growth and development of every person, as it allows us to focus on a topic, as well as practice difficult situations, better understand our lives and even form our identity. Since not everyone has access to a professional who can help change the most harmful behaviors, CNN spoke with several experts and explained how you can do it at home.
First, it is necessary to know why our thoughts and “monologues” are negative. Experts say the way people talk to themselves comes partly from genetics and partly from individual experiences. This means that it is necessary to find the cause in order to be able to work on this ability.
These negative feelings can arise, for example, when someone gives you a compliment and instead of accepting it with gratitude, you start to wonder if that person is nice or even if they could do something better. The goal is to change this negative self-talk and reinforce the idea that you are good, worthy, and capable.
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Changing the interactions you have with you is essential The recommendation is to create a sentence that contradicts the agent causing the negative reaction. It might be something like “I’m more than good enough” or “I’m more than worthy,” Melinda Foote explains.
These phrases should be used whenever a negative thought appears – pause for a few seconds and say the phrase you chose to calm down. It’s hard to remember to do this, especially if you’re more stressed, tired, or even hungry, but it’s extremely important for your mental health.
Another technique you can use is to create a ritual to help control your “inner world”, for example, before giving a speech, you can take a deep breath and give a small hand punch – a technique used by Ethan Cross. This is a way to make sure that you are in control of the situation.
Most people are kinder when they talk about others, something they can adapt to using an inner monologue using their first name or “you” – a way to “trick” the brain into thinking it’s talking about someone else and not yourself.
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Another factor that can make a difference is changing the environment. Many people like to tidy up and clean their home something that makes them feel useful, establishes a sense of control and creates a space that does not allow negative thoughts to enter.
When negative thoughts invade it can also be a good idea to leave the house or even go out into nature – a way of realizing that there are more elements in the world and that we are not alone, which helps to “reduce” negative thoughts.
After making all other changes It is necessary to analyze the influence of the people around you on the “inner monologues”. The conversations with others that are most useful to you are those where people take the time to listen to you or start helping you and working with you to solve your problems.
Ideally, the media outlet explains the people you turn to to reinforce the idea that you have unconditional support.
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